never was

Severe nostalgic sadness has a way
of letting you know you're really alive
or at least that you used to be
Put on a song that reminds you of your broken childhood
or rather the sweet rare gems of happiness scattered in it
each tied to inevitable tragedy
Each happy moment swelling and glistening with what could have been
what should have been
but never was
Each of those moments now like
a candle melted all the way down to the end of the wick
Your life a druggie's altar under the causeway

My heart's arms can no longer reach out
like they used to
now they are burnt stumps turning people away

the mid morning winter sun

the mid morning winter sun
shines like a lone sentinel
keeping watch over the land

sitting here inside my house
its tendrils stick through the open curtains
caressing my little dog on the couch
with its comforting warmth

But me here in the corner
i cannot feel its warmth
i am tied here to my work shackles
i must be content with seeing it
feeling it in my mind's eye

the coldness under my desk
pulls and claws at my legs
bites and gnaws
as if trying to drag me into the underworld

but i dont think i'll go there today
for now this half mid morning winter sun half underworld limbo
is where i'll stay